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Local eSki Tracks Discovered

Report Submitted by aqua toque
(trip) Date: Wednesday Mar 23, 2022

Submitted: Wednesday Mar 23, 2022 at 22:14

Participants:

(names withheld due to sensitive nature of report)

Discussion:

Early this season a SHOCKING ski news story broke on this very website. Evidence was presented indicating that the local electrical utility provider was operating in rather remote locations in the Bow Valley. Keen observers put 2 and 2 together and deduced that eSki charging stations were being clandestinely installed right under our noses.

Mysteriously nothing more was heard over the course of the season. Was there a cover up? Were these early observers/reporters in some way "silenced"?

Well, I'm here to tell you that today our team came across a bizarre set of tracks in a high alpine meadow--the random, loopy nature of which (up, down and all around) could only have been created by one thing...an eSkier!

Despite what you have or have not heard--love 'em or hate 'em'--it would appear--eSkiers are among us.


Proof positive.





5 comment(s) posted

Comments:



2022-03-24 at 08:08 - comment by SkierRoger

Have you considered that those may be Bigfoot tracks, Aqua?





2022-03-24 at 09:23 - comment by NotDeadYet

I think that these tracks are from the the wind-powered version of skiing: commonly call kite-skiing. Last winter, I saw some similarly weird tracks on Nose Hill in Calgary and then saw the skiers. Actually looked rather neat. Similar to kite-surfing but on snow using a kite/para sail with harness.





2022-03-25 at 16:33 - comment by Mike W

I happened to be in that high alpine meadow at the time. NotDeadYet and Aqua Toque are both right. The eSkiers were using a kite-mounted wind-generator to recharge their batteries.





2022-03-25 at 18:32 - comment by aqua toque

MikeW! Good to hear from you on this. Being the one who broke the story way back in November we were worried you had come to some misfortune. That being said, I feel the kites are a colourful distraction, a red herring or smokescreen if you will.

However, SkiRoger's bigfoot suggestion may be barking up the right tree and not as crazy as it sounds.

Looking closely at the tracks we see a rather wide stance. As would be created by a large individual...like a sasquatch...on eSkis. But where would a sasquatch get eSkis?

Again, thinking analytically -- Where do sasquatch live? The backcountry. Who would have developed eSkis? An advanced civilization. Where do advanced civilizations come from? They're extraterrestrial. How do they get here? UFOs. Where are you most likely to be abducted by aliens? THE BACKCOUNTRY!

All the dots connect.





2022-03-25 at 23:19 - comment by Mike W

I predict an eSkiing Sasquatch sighting on the first day of next month!



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