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Alien Sponsored Bigfoot eSki Conspiracy in Western Canada!!!
Report Submitted by aqua toque
(trip) Date: Friday Apr 01, 2022
Submitted: Friday Apr 01, 2022 at 01:41
Participants:
Special Investigators
Discussion:
Photographic evidence has emerged confirming the opinion of local experts linking recent sightings of strange ski tracks in the area to a sinister extraterrestrial paranormal agenda for the introduction of global eSki technology to planet Earth.
As it turns out, little grey aliens have developed a line of eSkis with flamboyant graphics and are now introducing them at no cost in known sasquatch habitat. The sasquatch then proceed to plug their charging devices into the outdoor receptacles of unsuspecting rural residents under the cover of darkness. After which they go about trashing pristine snow slopes and meadows with their ungainly and erratic wide stance eSki tracks.
The photo you see is from a night-vision security camera and was submitted to the authorities by a concerned acreage owner who wishes to remain anonymous for fear of abduction and/or probing.
 Exhibit A
Photo Available For Sale to Reputable News Services. Contact: A. Toque, Bragg Creek, Alberta
4 comment(s) posted
Comments:
2022-04-01 at 11:33 - comment by Mike W
Just as I predicted last week (https://www.skierroger.ca/index.php?content=showski&id=1042), there was an eSkiing Sasquatch sighting today. But the conspiracy is even more nefarious than Aqua Toque suspected! Why are April 1 Sasquatch sightings so prevalent? The federal government's fiscal year starts on that date. Coincidence? I think not! Sasquatch are out and about lobbying for increases to their basic income payments and caps on eSki electricity rates, at the expense of hardworking Canadian conspiracy theorists' EI, OAS, and CPP benefits. (https://www.cbc.ca/news/politics/senate-basic-income-conspiracy-theories-1.6403777). This is an international conspiracy with Loch Ness Monsters, Yeti, Satori, and other freeloading residents of countries associated with the World Economic Forum (WEF).
But it gets worse. I submitted my wolverine track photos from two days ago (below and https://www.skierroger.ca/index.php?content=showski&id=1068) to Wolverine Watch (https://www.wolverinewatch.org/). They determined that the tracks were not from a wolverine, but from a Sasquatch wearing wolverine shoes! They directed me to a photo their wolverine camera trap had picked up (below and https://www.facebook.com/wolverinewatch/photos/2911007012559171). Note the photo date - only a few days before April 1! That explains why we lost the track when it reached the Blueberry Hill trail: The Sasquatch, sensing that the Little B's were hot on its heels, removed the wolverine shoes and escaped down the hard-surfaced trail. But why was the Sasquatch there in the first place? Don't be surprised if you see an eSki charging station at the top of Blueberry Hill next winter!
 What I thought were wolverine tracks 2 days ago...
 .. were in fact a Sasquatch wearing wolverine shoes!
CBC article on the Sasquatch basic income conspiracy
Little B's on the hunt for wolverine (or Sasquatch?)
Wolverine Watch
Wolverine Watch camera trap captures a Sasquatch just before April 1
2022-04-01 at 13:56 - comment by aqua toque
Mike, I find this new information you have uncovered truly stunning -- and I'm an expert in the field. The tentacles of this are more convoluted and far-reaching than any of us imagined -- especially the political angle! Speaking of which, we haven't heard from MAAD lately...coincidence?
2022-04-02 at 21:26 - comment by Mike W
Aqua Toque - About the night-vision security camera photo: I see a pair of skis that have been doctored up to look like the Little B's. This is a "false flag" operation orchestrated by the World Economic Forum to confuse and divide us. I can assure that the Little B's are fiercely loyal to our cause!
2022-04-02 at 22:00 - comment by aqua toque
Yes, I believe you're right. Hijacking a known and loved iconic ski for this evil scheme does fit their profile. I wouldn't be surprised to see them try to market their product as "Little E's".
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