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Almost Paradise
Report Submitted by Old L.E. Phant
(trip) Date: Thursday Feb 07, 2019
Submitted: Friday Apr 07, 2023 at 21:40
Participants:
Neighbor Garry and I (Gail had not yet morphed into "Gazelle) and did not come.
Discussion:
My report on this trip from many years ago was inspired by the picture that Aqua Toque posted Apr, 5th.
To Mr.Toque: In my opinion, your picture is a classic just by itself. Everything that a person would need to know is clearly imprinted in the snow. I doubt that any words could make it any better- but you may try. I laughed like an insane person as soon as I saw it. It is interesting that some people would see the opportunity (need) to put on their "wise old granpa" hat and tell you stuff that you already know.
It was immediately apparent that you weren't injured. It also was clear from your wisecrack comments that you saw the humor in the big picture.
If you are into a little sick humor-here is a suggestion: Get a picture of a girl 8 or 10 years old, on skis. Paste her onto your picture somewhere near the hole. She should have the name "Grettle" large on her jacket. The caption at the bottom should say "LOOK MOM -NO HANS !!"
My story: Neighbor Gary and I were returning from some messing around in the tracks in the Paradise Creek area when we noticed ski tracks heading dowmstream towards the bridge on the Morraine Lake Road. Should we go? "Of course, it will be safe and easy-just go in those tracks"!!
Gary went first. He did fine. But me, the clumsy elephant, didn't get too far before I did a full faceplant. I was thrashing about in the bottomless snow- trying to stand up when I heard the sound of running water below me. The feeling of terror and panic that comes when you know your next heartbeat could be your last............I don't have words for that.
I knew that there was enough current down there to suck me down a glory hole and take me to the Promised Land. I had to spread my weight so I took a ski in each hand and crawled "skis and knees" toward the closer river bank. I had taken only a few creeps when I noticed that the water sound was getting LOUDER !!..HOLY S--t !! I managed a U-turn and got out to the other side ! I survived, Devil denied !!
Since then, whenever I drive or ski over that bridge, I muse about what it would have been like to have spent the last half of that winter "Down Under".
2 comment(s) posted
Comments:
2023-04-08 at 16:24 - comment by SkierRoger
Thanks for the trip down memory lane, Old L.E. Phant. It's nice to remember the days of old (2019).
What would life be without adventures like that.
2023-04-08 at 17:08 - comment by aqua toque
Ha! Thanks Old L.E.
That's the best excessively wordy post I've read here in a long time!
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